Unsubscribing from ‘Shoulds’: A Love Letter to the Life That Feels Right

In my mid-30s, I find myself standing at what feels like a crossroads - and I’m not talking about the dramatic, soul-searching kind you see in the movies where someone packs up 2 suitcases and moves across the country (no, no, that was in my early 20s!). This crossroads is quieter, more internal. It's a subtle tension between where I am and where it feels like the world expects me to be.

For the first time in my life, I’m doing things that truly make me happy - in work, in love, in the simple rhythm of my daily life. I have jobs that excite me, a partner who truly gets me, and a dog who thinks I’m amazing just for taking her for walks and coming home every day. And yet, there’s that voice. Not mine, but one that echoes all around us.

“Don’t you want kids?” “You look so good holding that baby” “Don’t you want your own mini-me someday?” “You’ll change your mind eventually”.

As if my own happiness isn’t enough. As if fulfillment needs to come in a certain package (or in this case, a human form), with a timeline stamped on it by strangers and tradition. What if my mind NEVER changes, though?

Here’s what I know to be true: there is no one-size-fits-all life. There is only your life. And whether that includes children, a white picket fence, fancy adventures abroad, or quiet mornings with coffee and your dog - now that is valid. That is enough.

Society loves a good checklist. Graduate from a top-notch school. Get a "good" job. Marry the love of your life. Buy a fancy house. Have a child or two. Smile in those unsolicited holiday cards.

But really, life is NOT a bingo card. It’s a living, evolving, chaotic experience that should feel like yours, not something scripted by archaic expectations.

For some of us, joy isn’t found in traditional milestones, but in the spaces in between. In the freedom to sleep in on a Sunday - or even on a weekday! In elaborate trips with your partner. In deep, meaningful work that doesn’t just pay the bills, but ignites your soul. In creating a home that feels like a sanctuary, even if tiny little paws are the only ones pitter-pattering around.

It takes courage to say, “I’m happy, even if it doesn’t look how you thought it would.” It’s a quiet kind of bravery - the kind that doesn’t shout but is definitely glowing from within.

Happiness isn’t performative. It doesn’t always come with big announcements or social media milestones. Sometimes it’s just a peaceful heart and a calendar that you’ve built around what you love. I'd say that’s a victory.

So here’s the invitation - for you, for me, and for anyone who’s ever felt like they’re not measuring up to a rulebook they never agreed to:

Let’s write our own rules. Let’s measure our lives by laughter, peace, passion, and presence. Let’s stop apologizing for choosing what feels right and start celebrating it.

You don’t need to explain your joy. You don’t need to justify your choices. If your life makes you feel alive, you are doing it right.

And for those of us who’ve found happiness in a life that doesn’t check every box — with love, laughter, purpose, and yes, maybe a couple doggos or 2 — this is your reminder:

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are exactly where you need to be.

- Carly (The Lifeswerve Team)