Loving Yourself through Change and Grief

I had been envisioning what life would look like as an empty nester – long bike rides, no set dinner schedule, no one randomly needing me, no kids coming and going, long dog walks……meditation in every room 😊. 

The universe has ways to change things up – but always has a lesson. Mid-life—the time the house goes from a hub of creaking front doors and barking dogs in the night, to an empty nest so quiet, you can hear yourself think (and not always in a good way). My last child just went off to university, leaving us with her cat and dreaming of what to do next. But then, our dog unexpectedly passed away, leaving behind more. He was the last being that needed us on a daily basis and was always up for an adventure. It’s enough to make anyone question, “What now? How do I matter now and to whom?” But fear not, because this is the perfect time to rediscover just how much you do matter!

Step one? Breathe, grieve and be careful of who you surround yourself with. Ensure you are surrounding yourself with the loving, empathetic crew you need to heal. Be curious about how you can heal other wounds that may come up during this time, too! You are your own demonstration of what is possible in life.

When you are ready - embrace the change as an opportunity. Start by creating new rituals that are all about YOU. Serve your community by volunteering for something you are passionate about, plan a weekend getaway, or start something creative like painting or writing. After all, the nest might be empty, but now it's your playground!

Next, reconnect with your purpose. It’s easy to feel a little lost when the roles of “parent” or “pet owner” are no longer front and center, but now’s the time to ask yourself what you want out of this new chapter. Read or listen to "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle, a book that encourages you to break free from old expectations and embrace your authentic self. A book can change your life!

It’s YOU 2.0. Remember, you’re not fading into the background—you’re stepping into your next adventure. Don’t get sucked into the trap of thinking your kids can fix you – YOU can fix you. You can take all of your life lessons and create a life using them all! No searching for acceptance. Lose your fear of rejection. Just live the life you would have told your 20 year old self to live. 

You are your own North Star.