Happiness vs. Pleasure: Neck Up, Neck Down

Hello Lifeswervers! 

I have become obsessed to understand why I have been able to release certain attachments or addictions - so I can help others understand and release whatever they are attached to. It’s exhausting to think about something over and over again – e.g. alcohol, gambling, food, etc. It takes time and eventually sucks happiness and enjoyment out of life! I feel grateful to have released attachments to many things, but ahhhhh chocolate/sugar have reared their heads! 

Don't get me wrong – I am all for enjoying life. That is my ultimate goal – happiness. My obsession with chocolate (insert sugar here) is not a healthy one – it reminds me of other attachments I have had in the past – so in my curiosity to understand and help others find happiness – here is what I know this week!

Let’s start with a visual: happiness is like sipping a warm coffee on a crisp morning, while pleasure is like eating that third slice of cake at 10 p.m. in your pajamas. Both feel good, but only one leaves you with that deep, happy glow. The other leaves you feeling like shit. Dr. Robert Lustig, a brain health expert, says happiness happens “from the neck up” (think contentment, connection, and purpose), while pleasure is “neck down” (hello, dopamine bursts from wine, sugar, and scrolling). Here's the kicker—chasing pleasure is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. Meanwhile, happiness? That’s the stuff that builds lasting freedom.  Real freedom.

When we chase pleasure too hard, we risk diving headfirst into the instant gratification trap. Ever binged Netflix instead of tackling that looming project? Yep, that's your brain craving the quick fix of dopamine, Lustig explains. The more we feed that pleasure monster, the more it wants, turning our brains into a slot machine at the casino —always grasping, never satisfied. In contrast, happiness is based in serotonin, the neurotransmitter of balance and calm. It doesn’t demand fireworks or a quick hit; it thrives in slow, meaningful moments, like laughing with a friend or finally saying “no” to a toxic habit.

So, how do we shift from neck-down indulgence to neck-up bliss? First, start noticing your habits. Ask yourself: Is this activity bringing me joy or just numbing me out? For example, if you’re reaching for your phone the second you feel a twinge of boredom, pause. Instead, grab a journal and write down one thing you’re grateful for today (instant serotonin booster). Next, lean into community. Call that friend who makes you laugh till your stomach hurts or join a group that gets you moving—walk or pickleball anyone? Connection is the ultimate happiness hack.

Finally, try what Lustig calls the "4 Cs of happiness": Connect (with people), Contribute (to something meaningful), Cope (healthily manage stress), and Cook (yes, real food—put down the chips). Start small: scrap the late-night brownie run for an evening walk or a chat with your partner about your wildest bucket list dreams. The goal isn’t to cut out pleasure entirely—it’s to stop letting it drive the bus. When happiness takes the wheel, you’re no longer stuck in the quicksand of “I’ll be happy when…” You’re free to enjoy a life where every moment counts.

So, neck up—it’s time to steer your life toward happiness.